Hello all, and welcome to my review of The Magnificent Seven! 😀

  Starring: Denzel Washington (Chisolm), Chris Pratt (Josh Faraday), Ethan Hawke (Goodnight Robicheaux), Vincent D’Onofrio (Jack Horne), Byung-hun Lee (Billy Rocks), Manuel Garcia-Rulfo (Vasquez), Martin Sensmeier (Red Harvest), Haley Bennett (Emma Cullen), Peter Sarsgaard (Bartholomew Bogue)

Plot (taken from IMDb):

“Seven gun men in the old west gradually come together to help a poor village against savage thieves.”

Trailer:

Characters:

Denzel Washington (Chisolm) – The leader of the Magnificent Seven. I love this actor, and this character. He’s kind of mysterious when he’s first introduced, and you know there’s more to his story than there seems, but it doesn’t get revealed until the very end.

Chris Pratt (Josh Faraday) – Lol, I love this actor, and his character too. He was great comic relief, sometimes even in his more serious scenes.

Ethan Hawke (Goodnight Robicheaux) – This character managed to have this gentlemanly way about him, while still managing to be really intimidating.

Vincent D’Onofrio (Jack Horne) – Lol, this guy cracked me up too. His voice, mixed with his lines, was perfect.

Byung-hun Lee (Billy Rocks) – I don’t know this actor, but I love him! This is probably in large part because he not only used guns, but knives, and I love martial arts and weapons in general. 😀

Manuel Garcia-Rulfo (Vasquez) – This guy rubbed me the wrong way when he was first introduced, and I never fully embraced him as one of the good guys because of that, lol. He was still a fun character though, when I was finally able to set aside his intro, lol.

Martin Sensmeier (Red Harvest) – This character cracked me up, despite the fact that he really didn’t talk much. He was stoic, and more serious than the other guys, but a lot of his lines still ended up being funny somehow.

Haley Bennett (Emma Cullen) – She’s the one who hires the Magnificent Seven. I admire this character. She’s tough, and she never gives up, despite the odds stacked against her.

Peter Sarsgaard (Bartholomew Bogue) – An impressively slimy bad guy. This actor did a great job of making me loathe this character on multiple levels, lol. This is the kind of guy that never fairs well if he mistakenly finds himself in a fair fight. XD

Review:

*ugh*

I knew going into this that I was not going to be too crazy about the ending.

This movie is a remake of a remake of a remake of an epic Japanese samurai story, and they all end the same damn way. With me crying.

Here, have some cupcakes to ease the pain. I already ate the emergency cake.

But the movie looked so good, I just had to watch it, despite what I knew was coming.

It started as Seven Samurai in 1954. Remade in 1960 as The Magnificent Seven. And remade again in anime form in 2004 as Samurai 7.

With good reason – it’s a fantastic story. 😀

The gun fights were awesome. Each of the seven had their own specialty, it seemed. Billy Rocks was my favorite, hands down. Lol, again, probably because of his knife use. 😀

The movie has both the advantage, and disadvantage, of having a larger cast.

On the one hand, as with Suicide Squad and Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, the larger cast left me feeling like I didn’t know some of the characters very well.

The characters were all so interesting, and unique from one another. I really wanted to learn more about them, and where they came from. There was only really time to hint at their backstories.

I feel like there was a lot of wasted potential there!

On the other hand, however, having this larger, more diverse cast also allowed for some fun interactions between the characters.

They were constantly picking at each other, and joking around. They played off their differences with each other really well, and it made them all more engaging.

One small little nitpicky thing that irked me was how, minutes after the final showdown, those left standing just rode off into the sunset without even staying to bury the dead. They were just like, “‘kay, bye!”

[insert stoic riding off into the sunset here]

At least show them paying their respects! I would’ve happily sat in my seat at the theater the extra five minutes this would have taken.

These guys had found a mutual respect for each other, and possibly had become some sort of friends by the end. It just didn’t sit right with me that they didn’t stick around just a bit longer.

My rating for The Magnificent Seven: Not Bad – This was a really good movie, honestly, despite my love of escaping reality, where sometimes not everyone can live through a bullet shower. I think the only thing that knocked it down from Cash-Worthy, for me at least, was the survivors just packing up and heading out immediately. Otherwise, this was a really fun, entertaining movie. Definitely check this one out if you liked any of the other versions of this story, or enjoy westerns in general. 😀

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My Rating System:

Epic: This movie is so mind-bogglingly awesome that I may go see it twice. This one will have a place of honor on my shelf.

Cash-Worthy: Good stuff. This will most likely find a place on my shelf.

Not Bad: I liked it. I’m glad I saw it, and it may or may not end up on my shelf at some point. I would say rent it first to be safe.

Meh: Rent it first. You may love it or hate it, but I’m indifferent probably because it’s not my type of movie. I’m glad I saw it, but it won’t end up on my shelf.

Emergency Cake: I have an emotional reaction to movies sometimes, especially to tragedies. If a movie makes me sad or angry, sometimes it will stick with me for a while. At these times, only chocolate cake can save me. Chocolate cake makes everything better. No shelf for you. Ever.

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